The Evolutionary Purpose of Nipple Hairs

I just read a marvellous piece by Anne Lamott about liver spots and growing old, and I’m not even half her age but I had some thoughts, and these thoughts ...

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On celibacy, fantasy, Jane the Virgin, feminism, and not dating

Obsessively binge watching Jane the Virgin coincided with – and perhaps influenced – my decision to stop dating and stop having sex. Not dating when you are romantically-lonely is uncomfortable ...

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Sometimes labels help; what ADHD means to me

Today is the 4-week-aversary of getting diagnosed with ADHD, and I’m in a mood to celebrate. Unfortunately my son is home sick from school, so I’m stuck under him on ...

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New Degree, New Hair, Who Dis?

When you’re a student and a solo mother, your budget for personal grooming is comparable to driving to the other side of town for a holiday instead of going to ...

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A poem for men on dating apps, men on the street, men in bars

I am not your hun. I am not your babe precious sexy what you up to now wet dream. You can’t fool me into thinking we are intimate. I don’t ...

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Healing came from little white pills

Four months ago I started healing. This is what healing was like to start with: trembling knees, lungs that wouldn’t inflate properly, memories I didn’t want to remember, crying myself ...

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How respectful parenting can shrink foxes

“Mama I had a dream about foxes and it was so scary and that’s why I don’t want to go to sleep!”  Kids make up a bunch of excuses for ...

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How to answer questions when you’re not “good”

Since I had a breakdown a few months ago, conversations have become harder. It’s like there’s an invisible time limit to sympathy that no one has expressed to me, but ...

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Black and white thoughts

I often imagine things in black and white, like my brain gets stuck in monotone flashbacks to pre-technicolour days. I suppose they are the days that seem simple because I ...

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The Worst Online Dating Opener I’ve Ever Received

I received the following message last night.  – Never have I wanted juice less. – I don’t know why killing rats is a redeeming feature. – Does this strategy ever ...

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Is there something wrong with you, or are you a f**k up?

Usually when I write about personal or emotional things, I don’t share it until that situation or feeling is in the past. It’s easier to be open about something when ...

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The monsoon and the shudder

When your heart is a desert the smallest of loves can feel like a monsoon. You were not the avalanche or the earthquake you were not the biggest of loves ...

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You just need to keep me living, ok?

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How Mr. Men and Little Miss Teach Kids To Hate Themselves

There are a lot of books that I enjoyed as a child that dismay me as an adult. But I try not to be a loud too often so I ...

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What To Wear When Meeting Your Ex

Meeting your ex in person after a breakup can be a confusing time, regardless of how it ended or at what point in the recovery process you’re at. Sometimes you ...

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Honesty in a world more comfortable with deceit

There’s a tale told by Kumashiro of a game played by a group of children, girls against boys. The girls choose the game and they win the first time. So ...

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Yes I love you, no I don’t want to be touched right now

Being a feminist mother of a (white) son sometimes involves a different approach to that of parenting daughters that goes beyond the strange things that happen in their nappies (how ...

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The things I think I should do when I feel unworthy

Not too long ago I got dumped, and after I’d cried, and told all my friends; after the shock started to fade (although I couldn’t breathe properly for days); after ...

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Fractions can be whole numbers too

This happened tonight while he was procrastinating brushing his teeth. Thank goodness 4.5 became a whole number, since neither of us knows what would happen if I ever got to ...

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Because I’m a bossy person

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I spend a lot of time sitting in my car

When I was about 15 years old my best friend became a Christian and because I did not also become Christian, she declared me to be “evil” and broke up ...

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Self love? Take selfies

Apparently taking selfies makes me narcissistic and vain. The internet is fond of telling us what we are doing wrong and how we should be otherwise to what we are. ...

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When you don’t want to go to the shop

Sorry flatmates, I know I’m the only one with a car, but I’ve already taken my bra off for the night.

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When jokes don’t work

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The undeserving poor

The first thing that’s relevant for you to know about me is that I’m a beneficiary. It’s such a dirty word, isn’t it? Beneficiary. Conjures up images of the great ...

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Octopuses, poetry, whiskey, and algorithms

Look, even if I got nothing else out of my dating experiences, this story would almost make it all worth it. It starts like most of my dating stories, with ...

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Home is a place that is still

The thing about the urge to run, the crazy cannot-possibly-stay-where-I-am urge to run, is that it immobilises me. Fleeing something hard in my life is no longer an option and ...

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The velociraptor attack

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Here’s what happens when you find out I’m a mother

Apparently this is what happens when you become a mother: This is hard for most mothers, I think, when our complex identities become overshadowed by this one role. But it’s ...

  • By: Charlotte
  • July 14, 2017
  • Comments are off for this post.
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Sprouting love

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