What To Wear When Meeting Your Ex

August 22, 2017

Meeting your ex in person after a breakup can be a confusing time, regardless of how it ended or at what point in the recovery process you’re at. Sometimes you might bump into them accidentally – nothing can help with that. But if you have planned to meet them, I’ve prepared a helpful sartorial guide, which will answer what is undoubtedly the most important question regarding emotional events: “what do I wear?” I can’t promise I’ve tested all these options, but I feel I’d like to one day, and that’s pretty close.

Wedding dress

Why not go all out? This option sends a clear message. You might have broken up, but you still love them, and you’re ready to take it to the next level. Your ex may be surprised, but true romance will prevail. You are ready for the real thing, and what better way to signal your desire for commitment than by turning up at the bar coated in white fluff? Some may consider this a little intense for some situations, but girl, don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re too much.

Prom dress

If wedding dresses aren’t your thing but you still want to remind your ex that you’re a princess, then the prom dress is the way to go. Your ex will be stunned! And you’ll have all eyes on you at the cheap noodle cafe where you’re meeting for a half hour lunch. Attention equals self-esteem and value, right? Right.

Sun dress

This is a more casual option if you’re not into the big skirt styles above. Wear this all year round for comfort in summer, or to prove how tough you are in winter. But I’d recommend some more practical shoes. Who the fuck can walk in those stilettos? How is she balancing on one foot? And why?

Cosplay

If you’re concerned you might not have enough to talk about, why not try a totally new look? An outfit like this will work equally well day or night, and your ex will certainly have questions about it. Unless cosplay is a thing you did together, in which case it might have less of an impact. A skintight costume will communicate to your ex that you’re a strong independent woman who can balance on her fingertips. Bonus points if you “walk” into the meeting place like this.

Activewear 

If you’re actually too busy for this shit but you’ve agreed to meet up anyway, just incorporate it into your daily exercise regime which involves stretching on mesh structures. Bonus points if your ex meets you near a brick wall because brick walls are hipster as fuck and urban chic is your jam. Just make sure to mix up your activewear so your ex is aware of all the possibilities of what you could be doing if you weren’t with them. Are they shorts or underwear? You may have just rolled out of bed but you’re always raring to go. That loose tshirt? Probably a dancer. Are they shoes or are they socks? Keep things mysterious. Gloves? You’re ready to fight.

Casual

Sometimes it’s necessary to provide visual clues regarding your commitment… to the friendzone. Pyjamas, sweatpants, or anything that is full of holes, stained, or smells faintly of vomit should do the trick. There’s no better way to say “I’m over you” than to look like a total mess.

Casual smart 

Whatever you do, don’t wear an outfit like this. The jeans and blazer combo is just too predictable. You don’t want to be predictable. You don’t want to look like every other cool person who has their shit together, has some idea of style, and wants to be comfortable but smart.

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