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This is how much I like butter. If you said, “would you rather give up butter for the rest of your life, or lose a toe?” I would say “you’re no friend of mine,” and delete you from my Facebook friend list which is the definitive breakup signal of our times. Because of course I don’t want to lose any body parts but maybe […]
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Not too long ago I got dumped, and after I’d cried, and told all my friends; after the shock started to fade (although I couldn’t breathe properly for days); after all that I thought of all the things I could do to be more worthy. Self improvement: the kneejerk reaction to a breakup. I wouldn’t stay up til midnight eating cheese and watching Netflix, […]
