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Obsessively binge watching Jane the Virgin coincided with – and perhaps influenced – my decision to stop dating and stop having sex. Not dating when you are romantically-lonely is uncomfortable and dissonant. It means recognising that while some aspects of dating are out of my control (namely: the other person and everything they feel, do, or say), I am able to at least choose […]
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Four months ago I started healing. This is what healing was like to start with: trembling knees, lungs that wouldn’t inflate properly, memories I didn’t want to remember, crying myself to sleep, crying in the supermarket, crying when people were kind, shutting down when they were not, frustration at life for being this thing you can never take a break from. I never wanted […]
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Usually when I write about personal or emotional things, I don’t share it until that situation or feeling is in the past. It’s easier to be open about something when you’re not in the middle of experiencing it. Even knowing how powerful vulnerability is for connection, it’s still hard to open up without hiding behind that thin protective filter of “oh yeah I felt like […]
